Author Archives: Mapenzi na Ndoa

Preserving Your Marriage


I love old homes. There’s something special about a building that’s stood unmoved for century while everything around it changes. It reminds me a lot of strong marriages.


Old homes have unique character. The walls usually aren’t square, and the floors roll and dip. But what they lack in precise construction, they make up for in charm. They’re like stepping into a time machine. You can imagine generations of families running up and down the staircase or laughing at the dinner table. If the walls could talk, the stories would be endless. Read the rest of this entry


Tie Yourself to the Mast


Are you unhappy in your marriage? If so, you might be interested to learn that two-thirds of unhappy couples who stay together say their relationship is significantly better within five years. To achieve that, it’ll require you and your spouse to “tie yourselves to the mast.”


In Odyssey, Homer’s epic work, Odysseus encountered the mysterious Island of the Sirens. The creatures inhabiting the island possessed enchanting voices that distracted sailors from their journey, imprisoning them forever. As Odysseus’ crew passed by, the creatures sang their beautiful song. But Odysseus knew the dangers. He put wax in his crew’s ears and ordered that he be tied securely to the ship’s mast to prevent him from being lured away by their seductive melody. Odysseus also commanded they stay true to their course no matter how bad their circumstances seemed. Read the rest of this entry

Motherhood: A journery that never ends…



Whitney was a beautiful 8lbs, 3oz breech baby, delivered by C-Section. Babies born this way are predisposed to hip dysplasia, a condition wherein the hip socket is not completely formed. My (now ex-) husband was a physician and I, a nurse at the hospital where Whitney was born, so we felt confident in receiving the best medical treatment available. Thankfully, all the experts agreed there was no hip dysplasia.

Whitney’s birth brought profound joy AND profound disorder to my life. The things I had come to take for granted—like sleeping, eating, showering…vanished overnight. During those first three months of motherhood, I was a hot mess! My saving grace was having my own mother not only show me the ropes, but also reassure me I was doing great. We’d always been close, but never did I feel more appreciation for my Mom than during those first few months. Read the rest of this entry

Healthy love relationship; are you in one?


Do you have a healthy love relationship or an addictive one? Please read on and evaluate your relationship

  • Healthy Love develops after we feel secure.Image

Addictive Love tries to create love even though we feel frightened and insecure.

  • Healthy Love comes from feeling full. We overflow with love.

Addictive Love is always trying to fill an inner void.

  • Healthy Love begins with self love.

Addictive Love always seeks love “out there” from that “special someone.” Read the rest of this entry

If a man wants you …


This advice was passed along to me from a counselor; it was great to hear so I wanted to share it.

  • If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
  • Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
  • Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
  • Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
  • If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends.” A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
  • Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
  • Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
  • The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

    Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant. Why would he treat you any differently?

  • Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
  • Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
  • If something bothers you, speak up.
  • Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

    You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

  • Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
  • He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
  • Never let a man define who you are.
  • Never borrow someone else’s man.
  • Oh Lord!  If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
  • A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.

By: Salma Rumman  

Kissing secrets


Kissing different parts of your partner’s face and paying special attention to the ears and neck. Also biting softly on the lower lip and nibbling gently on the earlobe will do the magic.

I suggest this start with gentle kisses on the neck, move up to the ear, then go to the lips. Take some small breaks and then come back to the lips.

Put your whole body into the kiss, without words, your lips should say, ‘Baby, there’s more where that came from!’ There are ways to keep it fresh and new all the time.”

Put a hand on your kissing partner’s neck “It adds passion, like ‘I can’t get enough.’ And let’s be honest, that’s what makes for a great kiss.”

Don’t get hung up on what a kiss might lead to. Enjoy it for its own sake. “A great kiss is an adventure in itself, not a stepping point to something else.”

“A good kiss is deep and soulful and you should feel each other’s love through the kiss,”

Why am I taking about this coz, you’ve got to keep kissing in the game. Remember that the emotional importance of a kiss is where it all begins and you shouldn’t let it go just because you’ve known someone for a long time.”

Kiss Like You Mean It!


By Drs. Les & Leslie

 A kiss can mean different things at different times – good morning, good bye, I missed you, I’m sorry, I love you, I’m in the mood, and so on.  

But perhaps the sweetest of all kisses is the good night kiss that says I’m going to be missing you even while I sleep. Remember when you were dating each other and how difficult it was to say good night after a date? You’d say goodnight countless times with just as many kisses.  

Poets and lyricists have done their best to capture the magic and mystery of a kiss. But we think a brief line from the book of Proverbs says it best: “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”   Solomon, in all his wisdom, equaled a kiss on the lips to an honest answer. When we are kissing our spouse on the lips, especially as a way to say good night, we are conveying our honest feelings.

It’s a kind of lover’s short hand to the questions we rarely articulate but deeply feel:  
1. Do you still love me, in spite of all the mistakes I make?
2. Do you still want to be with me when I burn the toast, leave my clothes on the floor, and all the rest?  

A kiss on the lips is a way of honestly answering in the affirmative these unspoken questions.
So give kissing some special consideration. Don’t take it for granted. “Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips,” says poet Percy Bysshe Selley. So don’t kiss flippantly. Give one another a real good kiss and then enjoy the intimacy of a couple whose love is as honest as their hearts.