Acknowledging My Sexual Past


Wilson, Barbara

Sex is like glue— super human glue. God never intended for humans to have multiple sexual partners. Instead He designed and created our bodies, souls, minds and spirits to be sexually bonded for life with one partner in marriage. “But what’s the big deal?” you may be asking, “It’s only sex. How doesYour past sexula experience breaking one relationship and moving on to another have anything to do with my mind, body, soul or spirit?” And why is it so important to save sex for marriage?

God says in His Word that when we engage in the intimate act of sexual relations with someone, we become one with them, a complete, all-encompassing union in our minds, souls and spirits as well as our bodies. So what happens when we become one with multiple partners? Physically, our body, affection and attention may move on to someone new after a breakup, but what about our souls, spirits and minds? Are they able to put the past behind so easily? Can every part of me move into the next relationship brand new without residue attached from the previous ones? If there is sexual residue, what does it consist of? How does it impact me now or in future relationships? Great questions.

Sex is powerful. Our first sexual experience is often the one that we remember the most and has the power to negatively impact the rest of our lives. Whether from abuse, trauma or our own choices, sex outside marriage has the potential to alter your view of yourself, others and sex. It can propel you on a destructive course of promiscuity and other high-risk behaviors.

It can impair your ability to choose healthy people to date and marry. It can lead to sexual addiction or dysfunction. And it can affect your ability to have close and intimate relationships with others and with God. It also leaves the most painful wounds. Inside marriage, God designed sex to be a bond that is powerful and unifying. Outside marriage, the bonds of sex can be devastating.

Long after the lover has gone, the bond we’ve created stays with us, impacting our lives and future relationships in a negative way. Research shows that teenagers who began sexual activity at a young age and have multiple partners are less than half as likely to have stable committed relationships in their thirties than someone who waited to initiate sex later in life.

The greater number of sexual partners, the greater the residue, and the greater the impact. Think back to your first sexual experience.

  • How old were you? If you were a young child, this is sexual abuse and not your fault. If this is you, do you remember who your abuser was?  Often people who are sexually abused as children will go on to be promiscuous early in their teens.
  • Again, if this was you, at what age did you begin having sex as a teen?
  • Were you the victim of unwanted or forced sex, as in rape?
  • Was your first consensual sexual experience in a serious relationship, or was it a hook-up?
  • How has your sexual past impacted your life?  Your ability to trust, or commit, or choose healthy people to date?
  • Do you believe that God can free you from your past and renew, restore and rebuild your life and relationships?
  • What is the one thing God is asking you to trust Him with today?

I know this sound like am intruding your life … but it’s important that we address this issues. They are real and are affecting our lives every day. Do you wonder why marriages nowadays are not lasting? Or why couples are so unfaithful to their spouses?

Please if you need to sort this out … email me on I am looking for ten ladies … to walk this journey with … where you will experience healing from your sexual past and move on as God wants you to …


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