Loving my spouse unconditionally

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God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5:8

If someone were to ask you, “Why do you love your wife?” or “Why do you love your husband?” what would you say?

Most of us would talk about the good things the other person does or who they are, and the list would go on and on. However some would have a short list because of the hurt that they have endured during their marriage. Some couples have even confessed to me that they no longer believe in love and they are just living with their spouse because of the kids or the society. Today I want to talk about unconditional love and we will learn how to learn love.

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it’s unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love. We must choose to love, and be committed to love.

The word of God refers to the unconditional love as – Agape love. It’s the love that God loves us with; it’s unconditional and always loves no matter what. Jesus Christ also commands us in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”  This is Agape love, which is a strong and cordial affection for her; in a real delight and pleasure in her; in showing respect, and doing honor to her; in seeking her contentment, satisfaction, and pleasure; in a quiet, constant, and comfortable dwelling with her; in providing all things necessary for her; in protecting her from all injuries and abuses; in concealing her faults, and covering her infirmities; in entertaining the best opinion of her actions; and in endeavoring to promote her spiritual good and welfare: this love ought to be hearty and sincere, and not feigned and selfish; it should be shown in private, as well as in public: it should be chaste and single, constant and perpetual; it should exceed that which is given to neighbors, or even to parents, and should be equal to that a man bears to himself; though not so as to hinder, and break in upon love to God and Christ: many are the reasons why husbands should love their wives; they are given to be helps unto them; they are companions of them; they are wives of covenant; they are their own wives, yea, their own bodies, their own flesh, nay, as themselves; they are their image and their glory; and especially the example of Christ, in his love to his church and people, should engage to it (Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible)

The above summary on Eph 5:25, does not speak to husbands only, it also shows how marital love ought to be and its sums up to loving unconditionally. Am sure you want to ask me how can I love him, he cheated, he abused me, he neglects us …. If he does these things then does he obey God’s word on love like Christ loved the church? If you are the husbanding reading this article you could lament and say “she never submits, she see me as nothing to her, she does not even respect me, she is always rude and when I try my best it’s never appreciated. Mmmmhhh this can be painful and difficult to be told to love unconditionally with these kinds of circumstances.

The only way to love unconditionally is first to know what is this Agape love. None of us can love unconditionally without knowing God’s love, without knowing His mercy and grace upon our lives. We must experience God’s love to be able to love.

My question to you is do you know God’s love? If you know the Agape love then you know that God loves you no matter what you do or don’t do, what you say or don’t say, whether you pray or don’t pray. I want to assure you God loves you period. Have you ever needed God so much to come through for you and prayed and He showed up in your life and you really didn’t even deserve it? Have you done something so terrible and asked for forgiveness from Him? God loves you unconditionally, He calls you His own and He will never leave you, you are His child and He desires to see your marriage experience this kind of love. He knows your hurt and He is whispering to you … “try me and see how much I will show you what love is, I am love”

God is the only one who can teach us to love unconditionally since he is the author of Love, He is Love that is His nature, what I can request you is to ask Him to show you how to love like Him. Also pray for your spouse that God teaches him/her to love; only God can teach how to love. However don’t dwell on him/her if they are learning their lesson on love, please do your homework, it’s about you, the rest live it in Gods hand. You will be surprised at how love will change your marriage.

Now please lets go back to the passage that summarized Eph 5:25 and put your name and spouse in it. Here is my example;

Liz, love Mwai, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for Mwai

This is the Agape love, which is a strong and cordial affection for Mwai; in a real delight and pleasure in Mwai; in showing respect, and doing honor to Mwai; in seeking Mwai contentment, satisfaction, and pleasure; in a quiet, constant, and comfortable dwelling with Mwai; in providing all things necessary for Martin; in protecting Martin from all injuries and abuses; in concealing Mwai’s faults, and covering Mwai’s infirmities; in entertaining the best opinion of Mwai’s actions; and in endeavoring to promote Mwai spiritually.

Liz love for Mwai will be hearty and sincere, and not feigned and selfish; Liz will show love in private, as well as in public: Liz love will be chaste and single, constant and perpetual; Liz love shall exceed that which is given to neighbors, or even to parents, and should be equal to that Liz bears to herself; though not so as to hinder, and break in upon love to God and Christ.

Many are the reasons why Liz shall love Mwai; Liz is given to Mwai to help; Liz is a companion of Mwai; Liz is a wife of covenant; Liz belongs to Mwai, yea, Liz is Mwai’s own body, Mwai’s own flesh, yes, as Mwai himself; Liz is the image and glory; and especially the example of Christ, in His love to His church and Liz and Mwai, shall love unconditionally.

Please copy this and fill in with the name of yourself and spouse respectively, then print one for yourself and spouse let it be your pray and desire. This will teach you to love unconditionally

_______________, love _____________, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for ___________

This is the Agape love, which is a strong and cordial affection for __________; in a real delight and pleasure in ___________; in showing respect, and doing honor to ____________; in seeking _____________ contentment, satisfaction, and pleasure; in a quiet, constant, and comfortable dwelling with ____________; in providing all things necessary for _____________; in protecting ____________ from all injuries and abuses; in concealing _____________ faults, and covering ______________ infirmities; in entertaining the best opinion of ____________ actions; and in endeavoring to promote ___________ spiritually.

____________ love for ______________ will be hearty and sincere, and not feigned and selfish; ________ will show love in private, as well as in public: ____________ love will be chaste and single, constant and perpetual; ____________ love shall exceed that which is given to neighbors, or even to parents, and should be equal to that _____________ bears to her/himself; though not so as to hinder, and break in upon love to God and Christ.

Many are the reasons why __________ shall love ____________; _____________ is given to _____________ to help; ____________ is a companion of ______________; _____________ is a wife of covenant; ______________ belongs to ______________, yea, _______________ is ________________ own body, ______________ own flesh, yes, as ____________ him/herself; ___________ is the image and glory; and especially the example of Christ, in His love to His church and __________ and ____________, shall love unconditionally.

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